Sporting events such as the recent Rugby World Cup captivated millions. Whether they watch on TV screens or for those lucky enough to have tickets in stadiums, the prospect of glory can be truly hypnotising.
Major sporting tournaments have existed for generations, but now fuelled by 24 hour news and media, today’s hype surrounding speculation of “who will win” is unprecedented. It can be strengthened by omnipresent betting websites adverts, by twitter or by a single click on a mobile that keeps everyone involved in the action whatever they are doing. There is just one winner, who will take it all, as the song has it.
In divorce or breakdown of relationship, the culture of “winners” and “losers”, has for years energised and enthused separating couples to slug out their differences in Court. The wish to a financial success over an estranged partner can be very alluring particularly with a lawyer’s promise of victory.
There is now increasing evidence that rather than diving headlong into a lawyer court room scrum, that more and more people are able to consider other options and alternatives. In relationship breakdown there is no black and white but there are actually scores of shades of grey. Recent legislation aimed at diverting people away from the legal process to mediate, is now playing a steady role in changing the culture.
By definition, by separating, most people recognise that to a large or lesser extent, something has already been lost. Rather than trying to turn the defeat around into victory, there is now increasing recognition that nobody actually wins in divorce, least of all the children.
Going through the process of mediation takes a little longer than the duration of most large sporting events but the progress is still a lot quicker than slugging your dispute through the Court with contested litigation.
In mediation, nobody wins any medals or trophies but rather than trying to spite your former partner, you will have a chance to shape a brighter future in which your child or children can maintain a positive relationship with their parents. It is therefore an activity worth participating in.
